Monday, January 17, 2011

Like a lightbulb.

It hit me today.

I need to stop focusing so much on 'the number' and moreso on how I feel.

Lately, I have lost the feeling...the feeling of being in control, of really genuinely feeling good about myself. Why?

I'm not sure what the answer is, but I am determined as hell to figure it out. Today, Kathy and I started what is going to be our new regiment at the gym. 4 days a week. 2 days will be an hour on the elliptical, the other 2 will be 30 minutes followed by alternate days of weights.

Earlier today, I toyed with the idea of doing the Broad Street Run this May. 10 miles. TEN MILES. Dear Lord to say it outloud makes it sound even worse...the most I have ever done is a 5k, and frankly, 10 is a lot more than 3.2.

Then - I saw a post on friend's blog about being inspired...she talked about a post she read on a blog that she follows. So I decided to read the post, and watch a video - and it hit me like a ton of bricks in the face. I mean really, to my core - made it all very real for me. This isn't about what I am saying that I'm going to do - it's about DOING it. There is no such thing as someday, it needs to be right now. That simple.

Here's the blog:

The video is on the right hand side of the home page. I'm warning you - I cried throughout the entire thing.


  1. congratulations friend - you have arrived! You're so right - it's NOT about someday. It's about NOW. that's why I love Ben and his whole blog and concept (and yes, I have a shirt!). It really is about doing life! The number thing is hard - I get stuck on it too - but, we've got to start remembering that we're the hardest on ourselves! The biggest thing for me was to learn to accept myself where I am. It's like in yoga - sometimes I get frustrated b/c I can do something all the time and then one day, I can't. But, I have to realize that if I can't that day, then that's where my body is and that's ok.

    Proud of you! Keep going - today. Just today. Forget about tomorrow. :)

    Also - do the 10K. You CAN do it. You just have to take the leap. My first ever race was the 1/2 marathon! I signed up having never even run a complete full mile. You really can do it! :)

  2. Well, it's good to know there are other crazy people out there. ;) The race is actually closed now, they cap it at 30,000 registrants...I think I was being a little far fetched, honestly. They say you aren't supposed to train and try to lose weight at the same time, and right now that is my priority. So, I just need to refocus, and I'll worry about accomplishing that item at another time.

    It is frustrating. Every day. Some days are less frustrating than others, but this will ALWAYS be a struggle for me. Even when I get to a point of being where I feel good about where I am will still be a struggle to stay there.