Motivation

It's been hard lately. The weather sucks. I know that sounds like an excuse but I don't know many people who jump out of bed and embrace a cold or rainy day. It is effing Spring. Where is my sunshine and warmer weather?

Not working isn't helping. It is BEYOND frustrating. Please don't tell me you understand, becaues chances are - you don't. So pair the feeling of being unwanted, with shitty self esteem - it's no wonder I am not 400 pounds. I am trying...being around positive, supportive people is helping. I'm not fixed entirely, but I am better than I was about it in the past.

I can tell you right now, this week didn't go as well as last week. Today was my first day back tot he gym in almost 2 weeks, and it hurt. Lasted only 35 minutes on the elliptical and did 2 weight machines. That was it. BUT - I went.

Need to get to the point where I stop fighting it mentally...it has to get easier.