Motivation

It's been hard lately. The weather sucks. I know that sounds like an excuse but I don't know many people who jump out of bed and embrace a cold or rainy day. It is effing Spring. Where is my sunshine and warmer weather?

Not working isn't helping. It is BEYOND frustrating. Please don't tell me you understand, becaues chances are - you don't. So pair the feeling of being unwanted, with shitty self esteem - it's no wonder I am not 400 pounds. I am trying...being around positive, supportive people is helping. I'm not fixed entirely, but I am better than I was about it in the past.

I can tell you right now, this week didn't go as well as last week. Today was my first day back tot he gym in almost 2 weeks, and it hurt. Lasted only 35 minutes on the elliptical and did 2 weight machines. That was it. BUT - I went.

Need to get to the point where I stop fighting it mentally...it has to get easier.

Week 1, round 3...

So last week went okay. Until Friday. The weekends are so tough being on someone else's schedule, but I tried to do the best that I could.

Finally hit the 30 pound mark....I lost 4 last week, even with the weekend being shaky.

Baby steps!

Day 1, version 3?

Ya know, it's okay. The whole point of this 'diet' is that it is supposed to be a lifestyle change. You go on phase 1 to jumpstart, cleanse, get going...phase 2 you are supposed to stay on until you reach your goal weight, and then you go on phase 3 for maintenance.

When I started in November, I stayed on phase 1 for 3 weeks. I did really well up until Christmas. New Years. Then I got sick in January with that God awful stomach flu and could not eat ANYTHING - not even fluids for 4 days...after that was all said and done, it took me some time to get back on track. Then, February came - and I celebrated. A lot. So there was cake, and drinking, and eating late at night because of drinking. BUT - I was still okay...not over doing it. I have managed to not gain...but I haven't lost much in the last 6 weeks either.

So, Chelsea and I made a deal last night. By June 1 - we both want to be under 200. I have a little more to go than she does, but we both need to get our asses in gear and motivate one another.

Thus - phase 1 starts again, today. 2 weeks will take me to April 4. I'll post an update weight wise next Monday, and again on the 4th...here goes - Round 3.

No really.

I went food shopping today, Phase 1 tomorrow. Going to do as best I can the next 2 weeks...which will take me until April 4. I already forsee some challenges, but I will be just fine.

Something new

I tried yogaX last night with Kristen - it's part of the P90X system. Holy good GOD.

We're going to work on walking today.

Good burn.

Did it again...

Almost 2 weeks since my last update. And you know what? That's fine. I'm not going to beat myself over it, because I know that I have still been fairly good about eating, exercising. So even though I didn't DO what I said I was going to...I have the best intentions, and manage to execute it about 80% of the time.

Phase 1 didn't happen last week. Not even sure why. So guess what - Monday, I am back on it. Two weeks will take me until the end of March...which, that's fine - I need the jump start. I am down 27 total, but I still have a long ways to go. CANNOT get complacent.

I know that this site is public, but clearly, the only people that read what I write regularly, are friends, that follow me, and are for the most part dealing with their own weight loss journey. Today, I went somewhere I didn't think I would - I managed to go on a rant on FB. Didn't mean to, but it happened...and maybe the result will be that I can help someone else, even by letting them know that they aren't alone in the process. Who knows.

I'm pasting it here, so that I have it to look back on for myself - for the days when I NEED it - because I know, that I need to take my own advice as easily as I give it out:

I am hoping on my soapbox briefly - but seeing as you are all leaving comments, I figure you are game for what I'm about to say ;)

Not everything works for everyone. READ - find what works for YOU, and run with it. I have found in my own personal experience (and from working in the weight loss industry), that it is a lot of trial and error. For one. For two - YOU HAVE TO BE READY!!! Mentally, ready to make the change. If you are not, you will most likely fail. Sorry, but it is true. Why do you think there are so many yo yo dieters? Because people 'say' they are going to do something, and don't...or they do, and it lasts a few days until they are bored, stressed, drunk, whatever.

Figure out what YOUR habits are - is it portions? Do you skip meals through the day? Are you getting all of your calories in the form of liquids (soda, etc). If you don't know what the problem is, you will have a hard time with a solution.

I am by no means, an expert. This is a struggle for me every day of my life. Even once I lose what I want to, I will always be a 'fat kid' - I love food. My advice is based on what I have found to work for me...I am truly grateful and blessed to have a very supportive family and network of friends, who have been so great in providing the encouragement that I so badly need most days. I have a blog that I write in - I try to update it daily, it helps me to remain accountable. Sometimes I fail miserably at that...I also use a free site - loseit.com - which helps me to SEE what I am eating, calories I can have, what my progress is... THAT is what I need. Some people need meetings. Some people need boot camp. This is what I need, and you are all a large part of it - bigger than you can imagine!!! So thank you!!!