I found it so much easier to wake up yesterday on my day off, than I did today.
Found time to make breakfast...2 eggs, 2 pieces of turkey sausage, glass of low sodium V8. Mmm, yum - right?
Got on the scale this morning, and while I am not at my heaviest weight that I was last October, I am a little too close to it than I'd like to be...and should be far away by now. But, I fucked up and let all of my hard work from last November - March 30th go down the drain.
Am I pissed? Sure. Disappointed in myself? Absolutely. But feeling pissed and disappointed isn't going to make change. I need to be positive. Believe in myself. Move forward.
So, here we go again.
First goal is to be down 10 by Christmas.
3 1/2 weeks. 26 days.
Once I hit that goal, I'll reveal the others...because there are plenty of benchmarks that stand between me and 75 pounds less of me.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
No really.
Apparently that last post, was bullshit.
November has come and gone, just about - and I am finally getting my act together. Phase 1 begins tomorrow. Again. For the 3rd and hopefully final time, but I doubt that - because really, I will always struggle. I need to accept that, it will make things a lot easier.
Went food shopping today, ate all kinds of bad stuff to the point of feeling even more gross about myself, and threw out anything that was bad in my cabinets, fridge...there wasn't much. I'm not bad about the stuff I buy. My eating habits have just been completely erratic. I let others influence me too much. I've gotten lazy. Complacent.
Need to get back to the gym too.
Tired of making excuses.
November has come and gone, just about - and I am finally getting my act together. Phase 1 begins tomorrow. Again. For the 3rd and hopefully final time, but I doubt that - because really, I will always struggle. I need to accept that, it will make things a lot easier.
Went food shopping today, ate all kinds of bad stuff to the point of feeling even more gross about myself, and threw out anything that was bad in my cabinets, fridge...there wasn't much. I'm not bad about the stuff I buy. My eating habits have just been completely erratic. I let others influence me too much. I've gotten lazy. Complacent.
Need to get back to the gym too.
Tired of making excuses.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
3rd times a charm?
Back at square one. Again.
Honestly, this is getting old. I am tired of allowing myself to get to the point of complete frustration, gain weight back, and THEN decided to fix it. When am I going to learn? Or won't I? Will this always be something I have to struggle with? Something I have to work at every day of my life?
Ugh.
That's how I feel right now.
Ugh.
5k in 5 days. I am terrified. I haven't been to the gym in lord knows how long. My schedule has been turned upside down with the new job - which I love - but I have had zero time for myself really, and when I do, I just want to sleep. Yeah, because I'm fat - that's what happens. You're tired all the time.
Completely aggravated. Disgusted. Annoyed. Frustrated. Get the point???
Here we go again.
November 1, same time I started last year, took me until March to lose 30, and I've managed to gain most of it back. I'd like to be down 15 between now and the end of the month.
Ready, go.
Honestly, this is getting old. I am tired of allowing myself to get to the point of complete frustration, gain weight back, and THEN decided to fix it. When am I going to learn? Or won't I? Will this always be something I have to struggle with? Something I have to work at every day of my life?
Ugh.
That's how I feel right now.
Ugh.
5k in 5 days. I am terrified. I haven't been to the gym in lord knows how long. My schedule has been turned upside down with the new job - which I love - but I have had zero time for myself really, and when I do, I just want to sleep. Yeah, because I'm fat - that's what happens. You're tired all the time.
Completely aggravated. Disgusted. Annoyed. Frustrated. Get the point???
Here we go again.
November 1, same time I started last year, took me until March to lose 30, and I've managed to gain most of it back. I'd like to be down 15 between now and the end of the month.
Ready, go.
Monday, October 10, 2011
I'm disappointed,
In myself. In my lack of discipline. Lack of self control.
I worked my ass off to lose 30 pounds...I am sure I could look back and see exactly when I got there, May? April?
All summer, I let myself do whatever I wanted. Skipped the gym. Ate bate. And I've paid for it. I've managed to gain back almost half of what I lost. Super.
I have to go to the doctor's on the 31st. That will be a year just about from when I went prior, and was at my heaviest weight ever. I wanted to be down 50 by the time that appointment came. That won't happen. If I can lose 10 between now and then I'll be thrilled.
I am back on lose-it.com. I have found that when I stick to that and keep a better eye on what I am eating, I am much more accountable. There's gotta be a starting point. So, there it is.
Ugh.
I worked my ass off to lose 30 pounds...I am sure I could look back and see exactly when I got there, May? April?
All summer, I let myself do whatever I wanted. Skipped the gym. Ate bate. And I've paid for it. I've managed to gain back almost half of what I lost. Super.
I have to go to the doctor's on the 31st. That will be a year just about from when I went prior, and was at my heaviest weight ever. I wanted to be down 50 by the time that appointment came. That won't happen. If I can lose 10 between now and then I'll be thrilled.
I am back on lose-it.com. I have found that when I stick to that and keep a better eye on what I am eating, I am much more accountable. There's gotta be a starting point. So, there it is.
Ugh.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Yep.
Still slacking.
I know, what the hell am I waiting for, right? Honestly, the last month has been out of control. I have had no free time, working, teaching, oh -and I got a new job that starts on Monday. So, yay excited for that, but again - I have had no time to just breathe, and focus on ME.
The intent is there. It really is...my PLAN is to get up and do the gym in the mornings. Now, you know I am not a morning person, so this is challenging in and of itself. Plus the next 2-3 weeks are training, so I am in the office at 8am...which is 2 hours earlier than I have been used to being at work the last 5 months.
The next week or so is crucial. Time to get my ass back in gear, mentally, physically, EMOTIONALLY. I am tired of feeling all over the place. And it's my own fault.
I know, what the hell am I waiting for, right? Honestly, the last month has been out of control. I have had no free time, working, teaching, oh -and I got a new job that starts on Monday. So, yay excited for that, but again - I have had no time to just breathe, and focus on ME.
The intent is there. It really is...my PLAN is to get up and do the gym in the mornings. Now, you know I am not a morning person, so this is challenging in and of itself. Plus the next 2-3 weeks are training, so I am in the office at 8am...which is 2 hours earlier than I have been used to being at work the last 5 months.
The next week or so is crucial. Time to get my ass back in gear, mentally, physically, EMOTIONALLY. I am tired of feeling all over the place. And it's my own fault.
Monday, August 8, 2011
I completely suck at life.
It has gotten out of control.
Looking at my last entry, these last few months have really just been a compound effort of excuse after excuse.
I need to get myself back.
Looking at my last entry, these last few months have really just been a compound effort of excuse after excuse.
I need to get myself back.
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