First goal.

Down 10. FINALLY. Missed hitting it by Christmas a few days, but I am still happy I managed to lose over the weekend and not gain.

Next goal, another 9 by Jan 23...that would put my down 25 from my heaviest weight when I went to the doctor last October. 23rd I go again.

I have been off base since Saturday. WHY do I do this??? When am I going to understand, that I am not able to have a little bit of leeway? None. When I do, this always happens.

Need to get it together before I completely derail.

SO PISSED.

Weekends and days off. They are definitely the hardest. Days I have to get up, go to work, I am on a schedule...a routine. And when I eat, how I eat, is also very routine. My struggle right now, is to figure out how to do that, when I am either off and have no set schedule, or around other people.

Saturday night, I ate some stuff I shouldn't have. Not a lot, but enough that I felt sick afterwards, and until Sunday morning. And Sunday, I was not prepared - did not eat breakfast, by 11am I was feeling the effects of that...it's amazing how my body is so used to it now after only 2 weeks of making sure I have a lot of protein in the morning.

I need to do better.

It's Friday

Which means - free lunch at work. And it's pizza day. Let's see how impossible this is...

Fucking over it.

Week 1

...is in the books.

Weighed in this morning, I am down 5.5. I was hoping it would be more but I am happy with it - considering I was not 100% this weekend, and have only been to the gym once.

On to week 2!

Weekend.

It wasn't awful. I also wasn't 100% either, but I think I really did make the best choices I could in situations that were tough. I wasn't at home Saturday, or Sunday - and having to eat with other people, other people's food, and out aren't always easy when you are restricted. But I think I did okay. I even resisted dessert at my parents' last night...and everyone knows, that is no easy task. lol

Today is the last day of week 1. I need to go food shopping again, pick up a few more items that I've run out of...the good thing is, eating a lot of the same things, I'll be a lot better at budgeting and shopping on a regular basis, knowing what I will spend on food. As opposed to stopping at Wawa for lunch and dropping $7-8 or McDonalds for breakfast for $5. I really am trying to do better, not just about my weight but also making lifestyle changes in general.

1st challenge.

So, the last 4 days have not been that bad, really. Day 1 was a little rough, I was hungry all day and all I could think about was food. But I got through it. Even yesterday, which on Fridays, work provides lunch - I did okay. It was hoagies and I just didn't eat the bread. Scooped the tuna right out of the sandwich, and then ate some of what I brought too. But, here we are upon the weekend...

Always tricky. Unless I lock myself in the house, it's going to be a challenge. And I refuse to do that. I just need to stay focused and not let things get out of control. Eye on the prize. If I can get through today and tomorrow, Monday is here - and then Tuesday is already 1 week down.

I can do it.

May get to the gym today, have a lot of other odds and ends type things I wanna do...we'll see.

Bleh.

Well, waking up today was definitely different, having NOT gone to the gym last night. I noticed a huge difference in how I slept, and also how I felt in the morning. I hope I don't drag ass today. Right now, I just want to go back to bed for like, a day.

Ugh.

In other news, I cheated and got on the scale already. Down 4. Ha!

gym

Last night was my first time back to the gym in...weeks? Months? I honestly, could not even tell you - that's how long it has been. Either way, completely unacceptable not only for the fact that I am paying for it each month, but realistically, you can't just think yourself skinny.

I've tried. Doesn't work.

I last 18 minutes on the elliptical, did 1.5 miles. At around the 14 minute mark my muscles started to feel like they were separating from my bones, so I didn't want to overdue it. Again, it's been.....yeah, I wanted to be able to walk today. I'm sore, but not incapacitated. It's that good sore. The feeling you have when you know you've EARNED feeling sore.

Not sure why I wait so damn long...I always feel much better after being there. Even for 20 minutes. Still making the effort to GO. Doesn't mean I have to get in 2 hours each day. I just have to DO it.

I was also able to pick up a print out of what I have paid since January, that I can submit to work and they reimburse up $120 of what you put out for a gym membership. Pretty cool, huh?

Oh, and where the hell did December come from? Seriously...this year has FLOWN.