Baby steps

It's not that I have forgotten about posting in here....I just haven't had anything worth posting about.   Sad isn't it?

I started walking this week.  Did 1.5 miles on Monday, took Tuesday off which was smart because my right knee was sore...Did another 1.5 last night.  My goal is to do 3 days this week, and next, then move to 4 days. Slow and steady .   I want to stick with it, not get hurt or discouraged.

Ideally, I want to be down 30 by Aug 1. Not going to get there just by watching what I eat, some of the time.  Gotta move too.

We'll see how this first week goes...

Desperately trying to figure out when what is going to work, and keep working... getting frustrated

The universe

Sometimes, I really do truly believe things happen as they're supposed to....that the universe aligns in ways to send us messages we need. Messages we are incapable of receiving on our own, for whatever reason.

This afternoon I received an email from Weight Watchers. Something about their lowest weekly rate, blah blah.  I get them from time to time and, delete. I did WW for 10 weeks back in 2011 or 2012, lost 17lbs then tried to do it on my own. You know how that worked out.

Later this evening, I saw an article on 6abc app about a woman from NJ, who lost 140lbs.  Went from wearing xxxl to a size 6.  Read her story....eerily similar to myself in ways.  Ok. Fine. I'm a little intrigued.

Then, I log onto here after months and months (almost didn't remember my password) and see that my first post ever, was February 10, 2009.

Almost 6 years to the day. And I'm still struggling. I will always struggle. I need to really, truly accept that before I can successfully move forward.

First goal.

Down 10. FINALLY. Missed hitting it by Christmas a few days, but I am still happy I managed to lose over the weekend and not gain.

Next goal, another 9 by Jan 23...that would put my down 25 from my heaviest weight when I went to the doctor last October. 23rd I go again.

I have been off base since Saturday. WHY do I do this??? When am I going to understand, that I am not able to have a little bit of leeway? None. When I do, this always happens.

Need to get it together before I completely derail.

SO PISSED.

Weekends and days off. They are definitely the hardest. Days I have to get up, go to work, I am on a schedule...a routine. And when I eat, how I eat, is also very routine. My struggle right now, is to figure out how to do that, when I am either off and have no set schedule, or around other people.

Saturday night, I ate some stuff I shouldn't have. Not a lot, but enough that I felt sick afterwards, and until Sunday morning. And Sunday, I was not prepared - did not eat breakfast, by 11am I was feeling the effects of that...it's amazing how my body is so used to it now after only 2 weeks of making sure I have a lot of protein in the morning.

I need to do better.

It's Friday

Which means - free lunch at work. And it's pizza day. Let's see how impossible this is...